[BlueYoshi97]

Hey, I'm writing a book (I have to, since I fail at every other work so I'm hoping I can get my money with this).

What do you guys think about the scenario that it's somehow gonna be like?

Story:

It starts with a girl called Daisy Cinnamon (I'll think of a name more original later), coming home from school. She's really sad that everyone around her only cares about living the same life, having a good job, having much friends and living like 'they should live'. Since she is the only one that lives her life 'out of society', she doesn't have any friends.

She dreams about a school or a place where everyone is more individual, more unique. Wonderfully, she learns that such a place might exist, called "Colour Island". To get there though, one must have enough fantasy, otherwise it's impossible to go there. Therefore, there's almost nothing known about Colour Island in humans society, that's why a lot of people think the island is a lie anyway.

Daisy decides to go there. She passes the test and the way opens.

----

While there, the area seems very different from home. But the people are all humans like her, so she isn't really convinced yet that they will be unique. When they arrive at the school, she doesn't immediately feel at home yet and she starts wondering if this was such a good idea.

By the way the school is located on a seperated little island floating in the sky, it's only accessible by a vehicle shaped like the half of a ball.

As the days go by, she starts to really like it there. But there is one bad point. The leaders of the school are like dictators. When you misbehave, you get a warning. 3 of those warnings means being thrown in jail (jails are under the school).

When she learns about this, she gets very scared, but notices that many students do everything to please the leaders, even by snitching on others. Because if the leaders like them enough, they get a chance to become a leader as well.

---

Well, blabla, a lot of stuff happens, and eventually Daisy gets thrown in jail. Forever. Since there is no government on Colour Island, no one fights the dictatorship.

Luckily, she met someone who is very smart, Mewzer (?), he invents all kinds of stuff. Mewzer is one of those leader-lovers, but Daisy pays him to make something for her to escape the jail with and bring it to her. It works and one night, Daisy manages to escape, together with the other people that were locked up at that point. They make Mewzer come with them as well, but he isn't sure about it.

The people that escaped are Daisy, Mewzer, one boy who is very mysterious and doesn't say anything (?), a cool guy (Logic), a cool girl (Maple), plus someone who looks like a Crow, and comes from "Fauna Town", a place where only animals live.

---

I'm not gonna tell everything that happens from this point. After their escape, the main leaders from the school start their chase, and will follow them for pretty much the rest of the book. These parts will also be written.

An important part is when one day, Mewzer decides to ditch the group, to help the leaders. He ties Daisy and friends up, and also places small transmitters in their clothes (they don't know that). Luckily, the mysterious boy (?) wasn't there at that point (he always leaves in the night to steal stuff, without the others knowing before), and when he came back he untied the group.

Eventually at the end of the book, they get catched. Mewzer lands in a situation where he can choose if he shoots the leaders (which will give Daisy and co. extra time to get away), or shoot Daisy and company and become one of the main leaders of the school. This decision equals the decision if there will ever be a part 2.

---

This of course, is not nearly everything. There are also dream sequences, when Daisy or another character has a dream, I describe it, the dream usually has something to do with recent happenings or the person's thoughts about something, visualized in poetic style.

I know the story is really unclear the way I tell it now. But do you guys think it would be good enough, or have other ideas?

[Botervloot]

Girl story written by a man.

Reads like your run-of-the-mill romance story.

This post has been edited by Botervloot: 06 December 2010 - 19:54

[Sneed]

[BlueYoshi97]

Botervloot, on 06 December 2010 - 19:54, said:

Girl story written by a man.

Reads like your run-of-the-mill romance story.

Lol.

No, there's no romance to be found in the whole book.

[Ywa]

Before I start reading. Does it contain sex?

[Botervloot]

BlueYoshi97, on 06 December 2010 - 19:56, said:

Botervloot, on 06 December 2010 - 19:54, said:

Girl story written by a man.

Reads like your run-of-the-mill romance story.

Lol.

No, there's no romance to be found in the whole book.

Romance =/= kissing and mating

[BlueYoshi97]

Ywa, on 06 December 2010 - 19:56, said:

Before I start reading. Does it contain sex?

Nope.

By the way, the story is pretty simple, the biggest part I just made up.

EDIT:

No! There is no single kissing and mating and sexing and things. Believe me. No single person in the book ever even thinks about this stuff.

This post has been edited by BlueYoshi97: 06 December 2010 - 19:59

[Ywa]

BlueYoshi97, on 06 December 2010 - 19:58, said:

Ywa, on 06 December 2010 - 19:56, said:

Before I start reading. Does it contain sex?

Nope.

Shit.

Good luck though.

[Navo]

You are the perfect person for this.

[Mr. Darkness]

No fun without love...

By the way. Good luk, Yoshi, I am sure you will do great.

P.S: As I am writing a book too... can I post it here too?
Too lazy to make a topic... I know it is yours but....

This post has been edited by Mr. Darkness: 06 December 2010 - 20:10

[BlueYoshi97]

Mr. Darkness, on 06 December 2010 - 20:10, said:

No fun without love...

By the way. Good luk, Yoshi, I am sure you will do great.

P.S: As I am writing a book too... can I post it here too?
Too lazy to make a topic... I know it is yours but....

Of course you can do it.

[Mr. Darkness]

Ya-a-a-ay
Now its time to write 13-th page.

Note: 6 chapters done x)

[stalker-dude(nl)]

Pretty cool story.
Not to piss you off but I think it's more of a child's book.
But I like the way how you make the characters choose between bad or good.
I always like good moral stories.
By the way, is it in Dutch or English ?

[BlueYoshi97]

stalker-dude(nl), on 06 December 2010 - 20:25, said:

Pretty cool story.
Not to piss you off but I think it's more of a child's book.
But I like the way how you make the characters choose between bad or good.
I always like good moral stories.
By the way, is it in Dutch or English ?

It is a child book, I forgot to mention that, also it's more to be compared with A Never Ending Story-kind of books.

It's Dutch, but I don't think I'm gonna make it, actually..

[stalker-dude(nl)]

I've red the Never ending story.
That book will always be one my favorites.

[Mr. Darkness]

Well, my book is going to be on english. It's a drama. The book has a half-life 2 based orientation (and certenly game itself). It's about 5 bases connected in a circle. There is a main of all those, which is the command center. Each base has an index. the index is 'b' for all 5 bases. The command center is Base 'b110', the base I a, going to write about is base 'b110', which has lost connection with the command center.
The command center sends a group of people on a submarine which was recently constructed for the 'fast-trip' operations. the name of the submarine is 'Newcomers'.

...

Reaching and entering the base, the group notices that the place they are in is empty.
The team was in need of passing on the other side of platform.
They asked Dave (main character, YOU in the game)
Doing all that... The whole team gets in unforseen consiquences.

Btw, thats just a short description for the description
The longer one - later on.

EDIT: Yoshi, be a man. If you made a start for something, complete it to the end.

This post has been edited by Mr. Darkness: 06 December 2010 - 21:11